You do sort-of ask yourself "Why bother?"
A lot of the blogs I used to follow now seem like empty vessels for advertisers, or forced-positive scrapbooks of people's lives that only show you the idyllic 10%. Same with Youtube. I used to watch a lot of it, but now can't bear the toxic self-absorbed, social-climber nature of a large portion of Youtubers. I now watch it scarcely, save a few who will put more into a video than their last trip to Tesco. It's really funny reading some of my old posts from 2 years ago because I can see that I was desperately trying to emulate that.
I guess really what needs to happen is that I need to do something, if I'm going to be this opinionated about it, and create the content I would want to read, and share with everyone the content creators that I currently love to read and watch. Apart from the odd art post or vain Tweet, I really have lost my connection to the online world and any kind of long-form writing. Though that's not necessarily a bad thing; I have fantastic friends and an excellent life, but I've missed committing to something creative and on some kind of schedule.
Bear in mind I am promising zero. This might be the post to end all posts. This might be the beginning of something beautiful (HA). Fuck it, let's go for it. It's mental that my last post was about 2 years ago and so much has happened since then:
In no particular order:
- I've visited Paris and Japan. Though v keen to travel more this year.
- My jaw has completely healed.
- I have become a Twitch-er. Is that what they're called? Like a Witcher but less rugged and most battles happen in chatrooms. I even Creative streamed a bit. Sadly my new place doesn't have the Internet to support that anymore, but hoping to upgrade soon.
- I can now cook over 3 meals.
- I've started a bullet journal, and have kept it up for about 30 days. I'll do a post on this eventually.
- I dyed my hair red. It's okay. I'll roll with it.
- I filed 2 tax returns. I know.
- I turned 24, though I'm now a week away from 25, so that's irrelevant.
- I went to my first Comic Con.
- I've moved to London, properly. Like an adult.
- Though I'm in the same job, I've worked on many fab projects and now have almost 3 years of VFX experience.
- Still don't have a showreel, though.
- I've been to about 4 music festivals, and 10+ concerts.
- I have enough copies of ImagineFX & 3D Artist to start a WHSmith.
- I've met a wealth of brilliant and diverse people from all over the world.
- I still can't commit to anything. Art schedules, fitness routines, deadlines, you name it.
- I'm happier. More confident. More grounded. But also ready to explore new horizons and improve on being a well-rounded human.
- I've also become infinitely more bitter and cynical and can't take myself seriously when I write these things. Any posts from me will now be an exercise in online identity crisis. I'll also swear more.
What I'll be posting with yet I haven't decided. Some art, some life, some writing, maybe even some cooking (god forbid.) I still haven't mastered the art of presenting food nicely.
If any of you (I'm pretending I have any kind of following still, feel free to play along.) have any suggestions, feel free to comment. One thing I'd like to set up is a formal commissions list so people are able to see what I charge/if I'm available. I'm not right now, but if I need to save for things in the future then it's something I'm going to try to be more organized with!
That's all from me right now.
The next one may never come. We just don't know. It is in the hands of the Gods. Whether or not I'll stick with Blogger or find another host is undecided. I'm also going to be doing a cleanup of old posts, as some are just too awful for me to deal with.
If you have made it this far, thank you, and please hit me up with a follow!